I've been sort of eating.
Today is my 16th birthday, and ever since I was 12 I've wanted to give blood on my 16th birthday. I have an appointment tomorrow, and I've been eating normally(ish) these last few days so that my blood will be good for that.
My mom will also be taking me to the clinic soon to get some blood tests and stuff (because she found out about my ED) and I really need the tests to look normal so I can be left alone and look like I've recovered.
So I'm eating like 1,200 calories a day, and I will be having birthday cake tonight too.
I'm scared that once I get past all these obstacles I'll lose all my strength and just keep eating.
I just wish I could go on a several day fast to get back into it. Gah.
The weird thing is I've stayed at 147... I feel huge and disgusting, but I'm not gaining.
I hate myself for eating right now, but I have to.
On the plus side, I got my birthday present, an elliptical, today, so I'll be able to lose even faster.