So I talked to the teacher again today. She said she's in recovery. I asked how she knew, and she couldn't really answer... it's just one of those things that you can detect in others when you have it yourself. She said she didn't think that it was super obvious and everyone knows.
I'm nervous... on the 3rd we have a French club movie night, and there will be boursin (garlic&herb, my favorite kind!) and bread, as well as chocolate, and I know for sure she will be there... I hope she doesn't try to make me eat.
The psychology teacher commented on my weight loss in front of a few people. I just acted uncomfortable and walked away, and one of the people there said "I think that made her uncomfortable". By this point I'm so sick of the compliments that I decided to just tell him why. He was just like "oh.. you shouldn't do that". Really helpful.
I found out today that a teacher that has been gone for like a month at my school that I really like will be coming back next week. Turns out she's pregnant! It was a total shock, haha.
For sociology I have to write an autobiography and it's due a week from today. 1,000 words or more. I have no idea what I want to reveal.. the teacher said no one else would read it, and I do like and trust him, but I don't want to make it seem like I need pity. I'm considering just being completely honest about everything.
I ate like a pig yesterday and the day before (like 1,000 calories) and went up to 150. I'm down to 147 now. No idea if it's water weight that will just go away or fat... anyway, I'm fasting today and hopefully tomorrow. My stomach won't stop growling. It annoys the crap out of me.
I am just so disgusted with myself right now...
As opposed to yesterday the idea of eating just grosses me out... I guess it seems like my ED goes from really strong to less strong, and back again.
I've been listening Fuckin Perfect by Pink on repeat. It's awesome, and makes me smile :)